...ME
Su aka Stellvia
I'm just another bossy person who thinks that the world is solely mine... LOL.. if only..
...MUSIC
...CLOCK
...TAGBOARD
...LINKS
Cherie
Peiying
Peiyi
Weisheng
Nyanko
Kura
Potato
DaiDream
Sieggy
Louise Tay
Bluepixie
Kato
SiQi
KenS
Zen
JAVA Games
Gabi
Fatashionable
...CREDITS
Layout Designer: ice angel
Haha.. I've change the picture tho..
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Continue from previous..
2 Jan
Went out with Saga to shop, cook spaghetti, the tuna tomato sauce is rather nice. I will go for that next time. Taki travel to JB, and bought alot of comics back for us to read.
Was online almost whole day, finally broke down by evening after all the mess online. Quit the channel to stablise my emotions but end up crying for the whole night.
Sorry Dai, it's not really your fault that i left the channel. It's rather irresponsible for me to quit like that without explaining. But I really need some peace. The chat log is making me too emotional that i don't think i can stay in the channel for one more second.
True to say. End up crying for the rest of the day.
Tezu messaged me thr msn to chat. It's rather nice of him and definitely stop me from crying too badly.. but tears aren't avoidable when i on the verge of breaking down. Maybe as wat we chat about. I'm overly protective of the channel, and I should learn how to let go. It's not my responsibility in the first place, why should i get involve so much? I feel stupid. I should never get overly commited in anything in the first place.
As usual, Kyu msn me, and we talk about rubbish. And thank god, he reminded me of my new azumanga game which i have vent all my unhappiness on. Tho i lost all my games, irregardless of who i used. But I still prefer Osaka nevertheless.
Last person who msg me is Dai, and I think he misunderstand the reason why i left the channel. And thought that i am angry with him. Anyway, just when i am about to explain, he typed something that will trigger my emotions, so i decided to ignore him for the day.
I am still hestitating about joining back. Not becos of the mess in there. It's more of my emotional stress. The fear of reading the channel log and joining is increasing. When i see the mirc logo, all i feel is fear and the breakdown yesterday. It certainly do not feel good to cry whole night and to go to work on the first day of the year with puffy eyes.
Trying my best to go back to normal. Joined the channel since the noon, but all i can think is "hope no one will chat there". I am scare to read the log/go in. I am scare... that i will end up crying again.. I am not angry with anyone, I am just plainly upset with myself. Every quarrel there, hurt me.. As wat Tezu says, maybe that's in me. It's hard to change, and i wouldn't be me if i did, but i can learn to let go...
There are only two types of person, those who likes Su's kompeito and those who don't. # ;