...ME
Su aka Stellvia
I'm just another bossy person who thinks that the world is solely mine... LOL.. if only..
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Haha.. I've change the picture tho..
Thursday, February 05, 2004
Hi Bloggie,
What should I talk about today? The truth or some gibbish i cooked up? I am getting tired of all these blogging, becos i hate to read at it. Why? I guess I am one of those people who love to escape from the reality of life. It is so painful enough, I don't understand why do some people enjoy recalling it sometimes. But, on the other hand, I am so scare to forget about it. Living is so weird. Or maybe, it's me who is weird.
If only I can cut off my past and live free of it, maybe that will be a good start. Starting afresh isn't it? Honesty, I have this feeling that i have been doing it my whole life without realising it. I will just try to make a full stop at different phase of my life. That's why I hate to answer to phone. Becos it is now too high-tech to cut off completely from everyone you know. But as i say, I have different phase of life. My high school friends and I. My College friends and I. My Working friends and I. Hardly any of them interlaps, and that makes my life easier to manage. 1 character in each phase, spilt characterisic! Or I will just cut that phase off completely, by getting away from the group.
I don't understand why I do that? Cos, in fact, I never want to do that. A person without past wouldn't really be consider a person with a life, I guess... It's like an empty shell.. I desperately try to grab my memories, but on the other hand, my subconscience desperately try to forget all of it without my knowing. This is the reason for the blogging. I can't remember things. In fact, I am starting to forget alot of things. I wonder is it just me or what? Poor memory? I will remember if I try real hard, but, how do people remember every part of their life? Recalling their whole life everyday? Who will do that?
I would hate this kinda of people, and sadly, I guess I am one of them. Somethings, watching anime really teaches me alot of things. I get to see the world differently. I get to break down and analysis all the things easier knowing that the characters isn't real. But I can't do that using tv drama. I will hate to analysis them because I know that the actor and actress are real living being, and by analysis the show and story, I am subconsciously stereotyping them.. Cos I would have imprint that image/character/story so deep into my brain. This always happen to me, when I try real hard to analysis something.
I guess, everyone is trying to escape certain parts of their life. What I want to do now, is to learn how to face my life. How to face my family, and future. I am still trying.. ya.. trying.. Nothing much happen recently. Just that I am addicted to online shopping, online "window" shopping.. More bills to take care of, more things to consider, more responsible towards my duties at home, still want to get away from this whole life. I will work harder.. I promise.. *hopefully*
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There are only two types of person, those who likes Su's kompeito and those who don't. # ;